Shelby John Smith

(I'm the handsome one and smart enough to write my own profile)

History: Well.....I was literally rescued from the trash by my Mom. She was on her way to work, walking from the bus which she had taken that day when her car wouldn't start. Anyway, she took a shortcut through the alley behind a vet hospital. There I was in my carrier next to the dumpster and very, very sick. The vet clinic wasn't open yet so Mom ran the rest of way to work and got someone to drive her back. But I was gone.......Mom took a look inside the dumpster, and there I was, minus my carrier, just rolled up in my blanket, too sick to move. She took me with her and washed the ants YUK!! off my face. It took a long time for me to get well, but within a month I was all shiny and healthy thanks to my new Mom. Just look at me now.......I'm the most handsome one of all, everyone says so.

Intelligence Level: Oh I'm really smart. I watch everything Mom does very closely. I make it my business to know everything that's going on in our apartment at all times. Nothing escapes my watchful eyes. I'm also very snobby, due to my good looks, everyone says that too. Is this a good thing?

Physical Attributes: Look at my photo album, need I say more?

Social and Special Skills: I bite the ears of everyone else in the house as a means of keeping them in line. It really works well. I'm also responsible for controlling the comings and goings of any and all company. Don't stay too long, or I'll literally walk you right out the door. Follow me......you've overstayed your welcome....it's time to go now. I also can sing, and I sing along every time that Mom sings. I'm also the author of two books. Be sure and check out an excerpt below from my new book "It's Yours For The Taking", a sequel to my first book "Making Their House Your Home".

OK, now for the best part......see my photo album below. Be sure and click on every thumbnail cause you will want to get the full effect of my handsome face.

Not doing much in these two photos, but just being my very handsome self is enough.

That was a good meal, now it's time to lay down.

Honest, I didn't do a thing. I'm just sitting here.

Oh Andy, that's so funny. Don't make me laugh, my side hurts.

Hey Andy, watch it, that's my tail!!

Oh, this is pretty comfy here

Yeah, I'm a snob...so what?

Look, enough already, I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!!

Oh yeah, basking in the sun, this feels so good on my tummy, right Whiskey?

In the following excerpt from my new book "It's Yours For The Taking", I define my comprehensive instructions on scoring food from the human plate:

Since our Mom likes to eat in bed this makes the plate particularly accessible. For table eaters refer to my instructional video.

Give the human time to get settled into the bed. Generally the remote control will be to the right, and the beverage on the bedside table. If the beverage happens to be milk, refer to chapter seven.

Step 1 - Casually jump onto the bed while quickly assessing the contents of the plate. With practice, a quick assessment will go unnoticed. Lay down about two feet from the plate with your back to the human. Wait until about 2/3 of the food has been eaten. With practice, you will be able to determine when the time is right without even looking. Otherwise, you may need to check the progress by turning your head and glancing quickly. Don't forget you can use mirrors to your advantage.

Step 2 - Get up and move a foot closer. Sit facing your target and simply stare. Almost immediately the human will feel your stare and will look at you. DO NOT allow eye contact. Look away quickly, preferably in a downward direction. Look innocent. The human will go back to eating and watching their TV program. They won't even be sure that you actually were staring at them, but it will leave a subliminal message in their mind. Repeat this procedure twice, being careful not to make eye contact yet. By now the food will be nearly gone so this time you will allow full and direct eye contact, but only briefly, followed by a slight upward tilt of the head, along with some barely perceptible air sniffing. Practice looking sweet and innocent. The subliminal message will already have worked it's magic and the human will marvel at how patient you have been. Move in for the kill, quickly touching and sniffing everything you can on the plate. Contaminate everything. At this point they will just set the plate down onto the bed and everything left on it will be yours for the taking.

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