Lillia's Story

Lillia died during a procedure performed to extract fluids from her body which accumulated due to a fatal disease from which she suffered called FIP. She wasn't with me very long, but then it's never long enough is it?

Beautiful Girl
by
Jose Mari Chan

Beautiful girl where ever you are
I knew when I saw you,
you had opened the door.
I knew that I'd love again.
After a long, long while,
I'd love again

You meowed "hello"
And I turned to gold.
Something in your eyes
Left my heart beating so
I knew that I'd love again
After a long, long while.
I'd love again

It was destiny's game
For when love finally came
I rushed in line
Only to find
That you were gone

Wherever you are,
I fear that I might
Have lost you forever
Like a song in the night
Now that I've loved again
After a long, long while
I've loved again.

In early October of the year 2001, Lillia, a lovely little kitty, so young, only about 1 1/2 years old, was brought into the rescue. Her guardian angel must have been watching when some kind and compassionate (and observant) folks noticed that she was hanging about in their yard. They put out food because she looked starving, so thin and bony. She appeared like she wanted to eat so badly but she never did eat anything. Over the next days she got thinner and thinner. They could see that she had a collar on so they attempted to pick her up. So weak she was that she willingly allowed them to.

Horrified, they noticed her neck was bloody and raw. They brought her into the shelter and what we found was that her collar was so tight it had cut into her neck to the point of slashing her throat. I've seen a lot of horrible things at the shelter, but this one truly broke my heart. We cut the collar immediately, but it didn't budge. It was part of her now. Her skin and fur hung all around it, her whole neck was raw all the way around and her throat gaped open. We soaked her until the collar finally broke free. Embroidered on the collar was the name Lillia.

Only two things could probably have happened. Either her owners put her collar on when she was quite small and as she grew out of it, she nearly choked to death....or possibly someone evil tightened the collar. I tend to doubt it was anything evil. I prefer to think she simply got lost and that she was deeply missed by her family. She must have been an indoor kitty because she was declawed in the front, and her collar seemed to be more of a decorative thing. How I wish now that I had saved that collar as a memento. I'll never know exactly how this happened, but at the time, it seemed like Lillia would turn out to be one lucky little girl.

I took her home that weekend, I'd felt an immediate bond, and I wanted to be sure she was taken care of. I administered sub-q fluids as she was extremely dehydrated, antibiotics for the gaping wound, and cortisone for the inflammation and of course lots of love and kindness. That Sunday she began eating on her own again although only liquids at first and a little baby food. I was pretty sure then that Lillia would be just fine, and already I was fond of that sweet face. She had such an innocence about her, and she was so trusting and eager to have someone helping her. She put her fate in my hands and gave herself to me fully. I knew already that she would become a permanent member of my fur family. A few days later my boss would ask me if she was a "keeper", and of course I said yes without hesitation.

Lillia came to me in a time that I needed her too. Only a little over a week before, I had lost another of my beloved fur children. The pain was almost too much to bear, my second loss in just over four months. I needed Lillia to take my mind off the pain, just as much as she needed me to make her well.

I can only imagine how she must have suffered. Choking, and unable to breath or eat. As it turns out, it took a terrible toll on her body and I would learn soon enough just how much of a toll it would take. She must have been quite a little beauty before all this happened to her. A young gray tuxedo with a sweet, kind face. Her features were tiny, a little nose, a small round face, huge round eyes almost too big for her face. Her eyes were emerald green in color, and a beautiful contrast to her soft gray fur. I couldn't help but love her. No one in the fur family was the least bit threatened by her presence either. Everyone was being kind to her, I guess they knew she'd been hurt. I was so proud of all of them for being so nice to Lillia.

November 22, 2001 - This was not such a happy Thanksgiving for the Smith FurGang. Our sweet little Lillia was gravely ill and in the hospital. I had noticed about two weeks before that her stomach was getting bigger and bigger. I knew that she was eating an awful lot of food to make up for the ordeal that nearly cost her her life.......but she just didn't look right. I could still feel the bones in her spine despite her ever-growing belly. I know a bit about FIP, having worked so many years at a shelter and being owned by three FIP positive cats already (although they haven't actually developed the disease).

I brought Lillia into work with me on Tuesday and took her to our shelter vet. On Wednesday, he did a needle aspiration to remove the fluid from her stomach. He aspirated 10 oz. of fluid. He did a gravity test to check the fluid for the presence of the FIP virus. The test came out inconclusive. He told me she was resting comfortably, eating, and I could come and pick her up. I was so excited, I jumped in the car and drove over there immediatley. When I arrived, I knew by his reaction that he had bad news. In the few minutes it had taken me to get there, her belly had filled up with fluid again. He would keep her in the hospital for now and extract the fluid again. I would know more tomorrow and update the saga of this dear sweet little kitty that I'd grown so fond of. It occured to me that I had no photos of her. I would make sure to take some right away if she survived the immediate crisis at hand.

December 21st, 2001 - Again fluid was extracted from Lillia's abdomen and this time from her chest also. She stopped breathing and turned blue during the procedure but my vet saved her. Aside from that, he did tell me that her overall condition was much improved. We wait and see....her chance of surviving the disease long term were slim to none, and I was very worried for the rest of the fur family although several already have positive titers for the disease. The likelihood of the virus mutating into the actual disease is slim so I pray a lot and I keep immune systems strong and healthy.

December 28, 2001 - Again fluid was building up in Lillia's abdomen. I decided that we should change her treatment and talked to the vet and my boss at the shelter about it. It was Thursday December 27th when I noticed that the fluid must have been building in her chest again also and squeezing her lungs because I noticed a slight heaving in her chest. I was going to bring her to work with me and then take her back to the vet but I was running late so I put it off a day. On Friday morning December 28th, I took her with me. I was feeling apprehensive about the procedure because I knew she almost didn't survive it a week ago. I hoped that because her overall condition was improving that so were her chances of beating the odds. The procedure was performed about 8:00 pm after office hours. I called a little while later and got the bad news. Her little heart stopped beating and despite nearly 10 minutes of CPR, Lillia did not survive. I was not with her when she died...I didn't really expect that she would, even though I knew it was a possibility. I didn't pick her up that night after work. I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet. I really couldn't afford to have her cremated. I agonized all night tossing and turning. No, I couldn't let them send her body to a rendering plant. It just wouldn't be right, I had loved her so much. By morning, I realized there should never have been any doubt. Of course she would be cremated and take her place on the memorial shelf with the brothers she had never known, my angels Gem and Farley.

December 29, 2001 - This morning I am deeply distraught. Since losing my beloved Gem in May of this year, and a few months later, my Farley, I had added many members to my fur family in an attempt to fill the aching void. Lillia was the first I had loved so deeply since the devastating losses. I had let my guard down because she needed me, and I had opened my heart and my soul completely to her and now just about 3 months since I found her, she is gone. I am stunned with disbelief.

On the way to the cemetery, I picked up her body from the vet's office. I stayed there in the waiting room just looking at her for nearly an hour before making the trip to the LA Pet Memorial Cemetery for the third time this year to relinquish her body to the staff. I clutched tightly to the carrier not willing to hand her over. The staff was kind and understanding and just waited until I was ready. Finally, the man that had sat down next me took the carrier from me. I let him take it, but then I broke down in tears. He handed it back to me. I'll never forget him for that. He understood, and he knew I needed to hold her for just a little while longer. I will pick up her cremains on Monday afternoon before work and she will take her place on the memorial shelf in my bedroom in the early morning hours of New Year's Day. I can only find comfort that the New Year will bring her happiness and eternal good health as she finds a new home beyond the rainbow and through the gates of Kitty Heaven. I will miss her.

Saturday, January 5th, 2002 - Yesterday was one week since my little girl left me. I didn't think it would be this difficult. I've reread my own words many times, words that said I knew my girl was going to die. I realize now that I never really believed my own words. I thought she would get well. Her overall condition was improving, my vet said so, I had clung to those words still so vivid in my mind. So looking back, I wonder why she died. When she first came to live with me, she looked terrible following her tragic ordeal that would ultimately be responsible for her demise. As the days passed, she looked better and better.....yet she was dying. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. She didn't even die from the disease, she died from the procedure. I don't blame my vet, I know they did everything they could and more. I've continued to question myself because I wasn't there when she died, and with that I came to the realization that I honestly believed that she would be just fine. I was working like normal just waiting for the call that I could go pick her up. My Lillia, I miss you so much, you touched my heart in more ways than you will ever know. Fly free sweet love, run with the angels Gem and Farley.

FIP is not a typical infectious disease. The cat’s immune system, in an attempt to help protect the cat against FIP, actually speeds the process of the disease.

Over the years many different treatments have been attempted to alleviate symptoms of this disease. Some of them seem to work for variable periods of time, so they are worth trying in some cases. These include antibiotics, immune system stimulators, and vitamins. Since it is difficult to confirm the presence of this disease, especially in the dry form, it is worth the effort to treat your cat symptomatically. Unfortunately, the long term outcome is poor. Cats with confirmed cases of FIP usually succumb within a few months.

If you have more than one cat and FIP is confirmed there is inevitably a small risk that other in-contact cats may develop the disease. However, blood tests are not helpful in predicting whether a cat will develop disease. It should be remembered that most cats are able to develop a good immune response that prevents disease developing. Maintaining good health, preventing stress and avoiding the introduction of any new cats for several months are sensible precautions to minimize the risk of further cases of FIP.